I had originally wanted to perform the song, but was somewhat discouraged by the fact that the other entries were all along the lines of Steps, Backstreet Boys etc. All acts involving no spart of musical ingenuity whatever (ever noticed how being a "piss-take" act is so much easier than performing the real thing...?). (I was also entered for a rendition of "Dreams" by the Cranberrries, but the less said on that, the better.) So may acts had pulled out a couple of days before (what? da ickle weetie spice girls not good enough for ittle talent show?) that there was quite a lot of room for new entries and consequently, I made the last-minute (1 1/2 hrs before the show) decision to enter the song after all, got in touch with the organisers and arranged to perform as Wendy O Williams. And in that time I had to find all the parts of my costume ("costume") and, er, rehearse the song. Luckily I had been practising it a bit before, and knew all the chords, lyrics etc. so that aspect of it wasn't too difficult. Actually, I practised for about twenty minutes, decided it would be fine and went on to rehearse the (unfortunately not so good) Cranberries song. So the time came, and I played the song. And I got the costume together too. I wore the trademark (anti?) fashion statement plait and various other Wendy-emulating prerequisites... for my emulation...

The actual performance itself went pretty uneventfully, I have to say. Though the same can't be said for the Cranberries - I was playing that with another girl, who had only learnt the song the previous night and couldn't remember the words so, I don't think I need to say that was a bit of a disaster. And because I performed that song before the Wendy O Williams, there was quite a lot of sympathy coming from the audience, a sort of "oh no, the Cranberries debacle revisited" feeling as soon as I walked out onto the stage. I had to do a little introduction piece before, yeah my piece of propaganda, explaining who WOW was and saying that I was kind of doing the song as a bit of a tribute (t being nearly one year since her death)....Had people coming up to me afterwards (I've been going on about the Plasmatics and Wendy for afew years now) saying "I didn't realise the Plasmatics' music was like that, I thought it was all sort of loud and tuneless...." Well what could I say??? So far I've only managed to convert two people.

Sort of like an alternative religion. You know how in most hotels etc. they have bibles in the drawers, all this God watching over you stuff, etc...? Well I went to Stratford-upon-Avon (in Warwickshire) in November and there was a kind of alternative religion there. Instead of a Bible in our hotel room, it was Shakespeare anthology. And instead of God watching over us, the spirit of the Bard himself (!). Mostly like that, sometimes a commentary on religion itself.

I realised one important thing that day though. Things lose their magic. I mean, not just performing, but other things too: even, ironically, rebellion itself. And especially going on stage. Now, you may have all these ambitions about being a famous rock star, but it's not going to be any good if you get stage-fright is it? It was the first time I'd felt NOTHING at all going out onto the stage. No nerves at all, only a minimal amount of excitement. And I knew from now on, I would never have any trouble performing in front of people. Hell, if I can't even perform in front of a few hundred people at a talent show, how can I make it as a rock star??? But, though the magic had been lost, the "magic" had just begun.

So where did I come? I think I failed to mention it. Third. What not first?

Well, I've still got a couple of years... See you there!